Timothy Joseph Crutchfield: A Quiet Hero

From left: Timothy Crutchfield with his family, Ashley Crutchfield, Connor Crutchfield, his wife, Heather Crutchfield, Madison Crutchfield and Timothy “TJ” Crutchfield Jr.

They walk among us, these quiet, everyday heroes. They’re often under-appreciated, except for those who know them best. They’re not bombastic. They don’t draw attention to themselves. They don’t crave fanfare or adulation. Giving back, and a job well done, is reward enough.

Timothy Joseph Crutchfield, who passed away from leukemia last April at 65, was such a hero.

“He was truly good at living, my dad,” said Connor Crutchfield, the third of four Crutchfield children. “Every day was a master class in gratitude, love and happiness. Quick to smile, slow to anger, a full-body laugh with a contagious sense of humor, and otherworldly patience, he was just a joy to be around, let alone call my dad.

“It really felt like he lived the way he wanted to, and that’s made me think a lot about what it means to find success in life,” Connor said. “Because what more can one wish for than to live that way, to love without expectation, and to inspire the people around you to do the same?”

Tim Crutchfield was a Granite Stater, through and through. Born in Concord, he went to Bishop Brady (where he was voted “Most Popular” and “Class Clown”), and attended the University of New Hampshire after a post-graduate year at Kimball Union Academy. At UNH, he played lacrosse and earned an economics degree in 1984.

He married his college sweetheart, Heather Reynolds, and the couple made St. Paul’s School their home for the next 38 years. In the St. Paul’s community, Tim was known as the ultimate family man and an avid supporter of the school’s athletic teams, especially those coached by his wife. By all accounts, he was universally liked, if not beloved.

“Dad’s eyes were ones I always sought to borrow,” said Madison “Maddie” Crutchfield, the youngest child, at his funeral. “His glass-half-full filter over the world allowed him to enjoy the scenery on detours. He filled his cup with everyday simplicities, and it unlocked a personal fullness and satisfaction that made him effortlessly pleasant to be around.

“If this community could’ve seen how Dad attacked and overcame every setback, surpassed every timeline, you’d understand when I say I saw Dad at his very weakest, and still thought he was the strongest,” she said.

“In the end, my memories of Dad are the most simple. But sometimes the best portion of a good person’s life are his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.”

Crutchfield’s early career included stints at Blue Cross Blue Shield, the United Way, and Citizens Bank, and he was a men’s lacrosse coach at Southern New Hampshire University. He then became a stay-at-home dad, and helped establish the Children’s Learning Center at St. Paul’s. He attended Franklin Pierce School of Law, earning his juris doctor in 1996 before launching his public service work with the state’s Department of Health and Human Services and the New Hampshire Retirement System.

“From an early age, Dad always reminded us of one simple truth — ‘You can control two things in life: How kind you are to others, and how hard you work,’ ” said Ashley Crutchfield, the couple’s eldest. “He embodied this principle daily, leading by example with his actions more than his words.

“Before college, I interned at my dad’s office,” Ashley said. “That summer revealed to me the difference between being loved and being respected. Dad had earned both through years of hard work, integrity and genuine care for others. His authority was never diminished by his kindness. In fact, it was the source of his influence.”

At NHRS, Crutchfield became deputy director and chief legal counsel. Passionate about team sports and the life lessons they teach, he coached many local teams, and served on the board of the Concord Boys & Girls Club.

“My dad stood as a quiet testament to the values of hard work, humility, and service, living each day with a sense of duty and unwavering moral clarity,” said Timothy “TJ” Crutchfield, Jr. “My dad taught me that no matter our path, we can always choose to give our best effort and lead with kindness. He believed, and showed me, that even the smallest acts of compassion can leave a lasting mark.

“My dad loved his work for the state of New Hampshire and took pride in honoring his fiduciary responsibilities,” TJ said. “To him, public service was exactly that — serving the people.”

Exactly what you’d expect from a quiet hero. We need more of them.