Victoria Arlen is Beginning Again

Victoria Arlen

Victoria Arlen is many things: an accomplished TV host/reporter, motivational speaker, gold-medalist swimmer, CEO, philanthropist and co-founder of Stratham-based Victoria’s Victory Foundation with her mom, a born and raised Granite Stater and now a second-time author.  

Since we spoke with her last in 2020, she’s become a host for ESPN and just released “The View is Worth It: Unlocking the Beauty in Life’s Peaks and Valleys,” a book about the hidden chapter of her story that came after the “successful survivor” and ultimate comeback season of her life. 

This time, the battle was invisible, and she hopes that readers would be seen in their own hills and the valleys — both deeply matter and have miracles in them all their own.

[Content warning: suicidal ideation]

New Hampshire Magazine: It’s been a few years since we’ve spoken last. Tell us a bit about this new book and give us three words to describe the season that inspired it and three words to describe the season you’re
in now?    

Victoria Arlen:The season I was in? Gosh, it’s hard to explain, but I’d say lost, chaotic and distant. But now? Free, peaceful and grateful.

NHM: You describe something happening in a moment of darkness that was the catalyst that changed the trajectory of your life. What was it?    

VA: I had a complete breakdown in 2021 where I tried to take my life. I had reached a breaking point and thought the only way out was that. I couldn’t take the debilitating anxiety and depression that was all consuming while also trying to maintain appearing “OK” to everyone else. I remember texting my mom about how being in a vegetative state was easier than the space I was existing in. I spent so much time and energy trying to do more and be more to prove that I was OK, which was the very thing that sunk me down to “rock-bottomville.” I didn’t recognize that living in a constant anxious state with depression that was so heavy was not normal and there could be healing on the other side. 

NHM: How did that moment of connection with your mom shine a light out of the valley?  

VA: My mom ended up picking up the phone unexpectedly, and it changed everything. The call that I thought was going to be my last became the one that saved me. By finally speaking out about my struggles, it allowed me to start a path and a plan towards healing. I was able to admit that I was not OK and realized that it is OK to not be OK, which allowed me space to ask for and start getting help. Sometimes you need to break down on your path for there to be a breakthrough. That was a major breakthrough moment for me, and I truly can look back and see that although it was a tough climb to get to a peaceful and joyful space, the view is totally worth it. Sometimes it’s our darkest night that leads us to our brightest sunrise. 

Arlen’s second book launched on May 5 and can be found on Amazon and christianbook.com, and at Target, Books-a-Million and Barnes & Noble. (Keep an eye out for it at your local independent bookstore as well!)

NHM: Presence is powerful. How did presence impact your healing and what did it look

like?   

VA: It’s something I try to focus on daily. I thought presence wasn’t an attainable thing for me. I used to think of presence as a paralyzing feeling and something I had to avoid. I never realized I could actually enjoy being in the moment and have it be peaceful and not chaotic. Presence allowed me to acknowledge what I was feeling/had been through and how it was impacting me. But then allowing me to be able to face it, embrace it, defy it and conquer it.  

NHM: “Face it, embrace it, defy it, conquer it” have been four major anchors in your life throughout your journey. What role did they play in the silent battle you were facing? Maybe the same or a little different?   

VA: They are a bit different this time around as this battle was tougher than anything else I had been through. I was able to use that same set of anchors to help me on this journey. I had to face what I was dealing with and what I had been through that had gotten me here. Then I had to embrace it, which meant feeling all the uncomfortable feelings and emotions, which then allowed me to defy it and actually move forward with strength and tools. This all culminated in me being able to conquer the mental mountains that seemed impossible to overcome. By actually living and feeling, I was able to see and experience joy, peace and presence. THAT is living. I can operate in a way that is no longer driven by panic, or this need to prove. I can enjoy my time at Lake Winni with my family, or the very cool places my work brings me. For so long I always felt like I could not just let go and be, and that was not living but surviving. I never imagined that this was even impossible, and I often want to go back to the younger versions of me and remind her “there is another way.”

NHM: What tools did you learn how to use (or reused)?   

VA: I have several, and they were the inspiration behind this book because I wrote what I needed during some of my toughest times. Some of my favorite tools are pretty simple, like having a yellow highlighter (or bright sparkly nails) to help with anxiety, or being able to acknowledge and think about what I’m thinking about and knowing that I have the ability to change the channel. The key is being able to remember that you can have tools and do not have to just suffer and hope it gets better one day. 

NHM: What was New Hampshire’s role in that season of healing and now?   

VA: It always has and always will be my home, my special place and the place where my favorite people are. New Hampshire, specifically the Lakes Region, became my escape and place to reconnect and heal. I started to see the view again and be able to find a balance within my work life and home life when I was surrounded by my people. Balance was never a thing before; it was constant go, go, go. But now I prioritize my time in New Hampshire, that’s where Tors (what the people closest to me call me) is the happiest. It’s where I’m able to separate “Victoria Arlen” and Tors and actually have a work/life balance. There is nothing better than waking up at the lake and being with my favorite humans, swimming, fishing, boating and enjoying the view. As soon as I pass my favorite rest stop on 93 (everyone that knows me knows it’s my favorite place to stop), I start to get giddy to go home. While I may live in many other places other than New Hampshire, the Granite State will always be home and a major place of healing and happiness.