Find Out What's Sexy About New Hampshire

Don’t laugh. We mean it.

Don’t laugh. We mean it.

You can bet that Daniel Webster wasn't the only fast talker when the Senate was in session. And we know for a fact that Colonial Governor Benning Wentworth had much more on his mind than the King’s business and that New Hampshire’s only White House resident was the 19th-century equivalent of People’s "Sexiest Man Alive." Here's a showcase of examples — past and present — that are sure to raise an eyebrow or two.

Fess up. We know you’re not hibernating out there. According to a story on the Huffington Post website, New Hampshire is the state with the sixth highest per capita use of sex toys — hey, we even make them here. Need any more proof of our supreme sexiness? New Hampshire is the birthplace of one of the 20th century’s sexiest novels, turned movie, turned nighttime soap — "Peyton Place."

We asked two Nashua psychologists what advice they’d give the Granite State if it were a client seeking advice about how to overcome its slightly frigid image and appear to all the world as a little more va va va voom. OK, they weren’t comfortable giving their names lest their clients think them less than serious — perhaps further proof of New Hampshire’s coyness when it comes to the subject of whoopee.

From a Freudian point of view, they took a look at those things most closely identified with the state in terms of symbols.

"Get rid of the lilac as the state flower" was the first bit of advice. "Too old-fashioned. It reminds me of my mother and there is nothing sexy about that."

And the dowdy Purple Finch — our state bird? The therapists suggest we might give some thought to the Downy Woodpecker, also indigenous to New Hampshire woods and a lot more thrilling in appearance and action (and name).

The docs had a lot to say about the state’s most identifiable icon — the late, great Old Man of the Mountain. "Look at him. Who would be turned on by a craggily old man who looked down on everybody?" But before cracking any Viagra jokes about his fall in 2003, remember he was first admired by explorers in 1805 — nearly 200 years is admirable staying power.

Both therapists say it’s helpful for someone looking to enhance their image to look at the assets they already have and to build on those to reach a goal. They agree that the Statehouse dome is extremely sexy. "It looks like a giant breast."

Not so sure about that, but it’s hard to disagree with both of our experts when they say there’s nothing more sensual than a New Hampshire autumn.

The state is all decked out in its best, beautiful colors, layers and layers of them. And then they fall one by one, like a slow striptease."

"And spring isn’t so bad either. All that cold snow melts away and reveals the trees below, then the sap starts flowing. That’s pretty exciting stuff."

In fact, New Hampshire is at its best when it’s totally au naturel, they say. "We’re not glitzy New York or Puritanical Boston." So we should slip off the blinged-out shopping malls and McMansions and expose the curvaceous natural beauty of the forests, mountains and the sea. "There’s nothing sexier than that."

And once New Hampshire embraces its new erotic prowess, what state would present the best promise of a tryst? "Well, it's spooning right up to Vermont, that seems like the most logical choice," says one of the therapists. The other one adds, "There is a little bit of New York poking through."

Could someone be suggesting a threesome?

In New Hampshire, that would be October. According to statistics compiled by the New Hampshire Hospital Association, the most births in the state were recorded in the month of July, when 1,125 bundles of joy were delivered last year.

SEXIEST Natural Wonder
We had plenty of lonely French coureurs des bois wandering hereabouts at the turn of the 18th century, but none of them had the thought to name a mountain range anything as obvious as the Grand Tetons, but the Native Americans that preceded them called the hills of Goffstown the Uncanoonucs, which has been translated as the woman’s breast

The little town of Bethlehem with its comfy inns and Victorian-era gingerbread cottages is particularly popular with the lesbian and gay communities, but the straights know if you’re looking for a little action you can’t do better than the Queen City. They don’t call it Manchvegas for nothing.

SEXIEST Hookup Spot
Wagon Hill in Durham, a 139-acre nature preserve near the University of New Hampshire with an iconic conveyance atop a significant rise, is the Granite State’s equivalent of the mile-high club, where UNH students go to get their tickets punched. But power is said to be an aphrodisiac, and we’re told by an unnamed source that more than a few political paramours have held private caucuses under the Capitol rotunda at the seat of power in Concord.

Swamp Yankees swear it’s the annual Mud Bowl football tournament in North Conway, which is as close to male mud wrestling as you can get, but we say it's spring skiing, when nubile snow bunnies in their bikinis and buff slalomers in jaunty Speedos make their last runs down the sun-drenched slopes.

Chocolate, right? Of course, and Unbridled Chocolates in Marlborough is all over it — so to speak. They offer a line of herbal aphrodisiac chocolates — a marriage of chocolate, which is pretty sexy on its own — and an infusion of herbs which are known to spice up one's love life. The store says the recipes used for these tasty temptations were created by a licensed herbologist and tested on "many types of people." Pregnant women are advised to abstain from partaking. One might argue the proverbial unbridled horse is already out of the barn on that one.

… and WINE! But candy is for dessert. If you want a full course of food and wine that will whet all your appetites, Wentworth by the Sea in New Castle will host a four-course Valentine’s Day Aphrodisiac Dinner featuring Domaine Chandon wines as part of the ninth annual Winter Wine Festival, which runs from February 2 through March 17 at the hotel. Festival spokesperson Stephanie Seacord said the whole evening is meant to be a sensuous experience. "We have special room rates during the festival. What can be more sexy than a meal with food meant to excite, fine wine and a roaring fire?"

SEXIEST Flower / Nature Inspired Event
We’d like to think that it’s no coincidence that our official state wild flower, the Pink Lady Slipper, is hands down one of the bawdiest blossoms anywhere, and not just for passionate fanciers of footwear. The delicate orchid is not only sexy to look at, its rarity offers an opportunity to lure your partner into the forest primeval.

And while we're a state that really loves a wild orchid, we're just as fond of those we keep in bondage. Just ask Mike Mattozzi, president of the New Hampshire Orchid Society which is hosting its 22nd annual orchid show, "Orchid Odyssey," Feb. 8-10 at the Radisson Hotel in Nashua. "We host one of the biggest orchid shows in the country," says Mattozzi, noting that 2,500 visitors are expected to ogle the over 4,000 specimens of these exotic beauties.

And yes, the show is intentionally planned for the weekend closest to Valentine’s Day. "It’s a great day. You’ll see couples make a romantic weekend out of it. They’ll eat brunch, then look at the flowers — or see the flowers and buy them as Valentine’s gifts."

And to prove an orchid is sexy. says Mattozzi, just give one to someone special and see what happens.

The state wildflower is a member of the orchid family. (BTW, "orchis" is Latin for "testicle.")

Diamond DeVille, Mustang Sally, Velvet Crush and the other members of the Lady Luck Burlesque Troupe are keeping the ecdysiast’s art alive in Portsmouth.

SEXIEST Business
As befits the state with the sixth highest per capita use of sex toys, we are home to one of the leading purveyors of the products whose names we dare not speak: East Coast Erotics in Pembroke, which, according to its website, counts its American Whopper, at 6.9 inches, as one of its biggest sellers. Said one happy customer, “I bought the Whopper to keep me company while I travel.” The company is also proud of its “Je T’aime” massager, “designed in Paris” and the recipient of the 2012 XBIZ Award for Excellence in Product Packaging.

Napa EastFor pitching woo, the California wine country vibe of Napa East Wine Lounge & Bar in Nashua, with its mood lighting, tactile seating, illuminated wine racks and plenty of sexy wines to warm the cockles, is just right.

SEXIEST Keepsake
This time of year heading to the North Country conjures images of skiing, skating and sledding in a frosty landscape. But North Conway photographer Jay Philbrick captures much hotter images. Philbrick and his wife, Vicki, proprietors of Philbrick Photography, specialize in wedding — and yes — boudoir photography.

Philbrick describes the images as sexy but never tasteless — “Think Victoria's Secret,” he says.

In fact, the photographer says he started shooting boudoir five years ago kind of by accident.

“It came out of a bridal shot I was doing at the [Omni] Mount Washington Hotel [Resort and Hotel]. The bride asked me if I’d do a boudoir photograph as a gift for her husband and it came out so well, I continued from there and also started shooting lingerie photographs for model portfolios.”

Philbrick says he’s seen these photographs change people: “It brings the subjects out of their shell. It makes them feel beautiful, sexy and romantic.”

To help their subjects feel “like divas for a day,” the Philbricks provide their clients with champagne and fresh fruit and encourage them to bring a close friend or family member to make it a fun occasion, for moral support and to have “a second pair of eyes” to check on makeup and outfits.

And what’s the secret to a great boudoir photo? “Lighting, props and poses,” says Philbrick. “People sometimes try to take a sexy shot of themselves on their phones and make the duck face, which is never sexy.”

The real secret, says Philbrick, is what’s implied in the image. “It’s a look or a gesture or the suggestion that something’s about to happen or just happened — a woman bending down to adjust her stocking or her high heel."

And are any of his clients men? Philbrick says, “I haven’t done any ‘dudeoir’ photos yet, but I would if I were asked."

SEXIEST Man-made Structures

The USS Albacore in Portsmouth, a Greatest Generation phallic symbol half submerged in a ditch, may not turn you on, but just ask Dr. Freud. And speaking of Freudian …

The replica of the Mercury-Redstone rocket that astronaut Alan Shepard rode to fame pierces the sky at the McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center in Concord. Not romantic enough for you? Then …

The Nissitissit Bridge in Brookline will have to do. In 2006 the city slickers at Cosmopolitan magazine put the covered, or “kissing” bridge (as they were once called), on a list of the sexiest places in the country.

SEXIEST Historic Scandal

Benning Wentworth loved a good dinner party, so it was not unusual when the widowed Colonial governor entertained a gaggle of Tory grandees in his mansion in 1760. As the dinner was concluded and the table was cleared, the 64-year-old Colonial potentate asked that young scullery maid Martha Hilton be brought from the kitchen. All the king’s men and their women gasped when he asked Rev. Arthur Brown, a guest at the party, to marry them. The Reverend demurred, but the guv demanded and the two were married on the spot. The scandalous affair was the subject of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem “Lady Wentworth.”

SEXIEST Sculpture
When she was creating the sculpture of the statue of justice for the Warren B. Rudman US Courthouse in Concord, sculptor Diana Moore wanted her to wear nothing at all but the judges objected. Moore went to Plan B. How about pants and a tight T-shirt with an exposed navel? Nothing doing said the judges, so the stainless-steel sculpture wears a full-length gown, but down deep she’s still a nudist.

SEXIEST Painting
Call her sassy, vampy, campy but there’s no doubt, Walt Kuhn’s 1939 oil painting, “Lancer,” is sexy. Regular visitors to the Currier Museum of Art will recognize her as an iconic part of the permanent collection, unabashedly eyeballing visitors in her garish and barely-there circus/military togs. Kuhn painted the image in his New York City studio using nightclub performer Lorraine Roe as his model/muse. The 20th-century hottie has been on loan to Bard College but will return home to Manchester in February.

SEXIEST Historic Figure
A list of sexiest United States presidents compiled by places the Granite State’s only prexy Franklin Pierce at number five. “Not much to say about this obscure president except that he’s gorgeous. He's like Johnny Depp, but without as much to show for himself,” according to the citation. Members of his historical fan club, The Pierce Brigade, are overwhelmingly older women, but then so are the fan clubs of Tom Jones and Engelbert Humperdinck.

Pamela Smart, the Granite Stater who redefined the word "jailbait," made the pages of the tabloids decked out in, well, not much. But Smart is not the state’s only pinup. Jillian Beyor, a graduate of Northwood High School, was a bikini model for Hawaiian Tropics and was named model of the year by Playboy magazine in 2008. Jennifer Lavoie, a graduate of Alvirne High School in Hudson, was the August 1993 Playboy playmate.

SEXIEST Celebrities
Scarf-bedecked Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler is old enough to collect Social Security but his recent stint on "American Idol" proved he still has it going on. Many mistakenly refer to him as the “Bad Boy from Boston” but we know him as the "Screaming Stud from Sunapee." He once got caught misbehaving in a hotel conveyance, which led to his hit “Love in an Elevator.” As he told the Guardian newspaper: “What's missing in the world is that people don't get laid enough. It's not just about [expletive] it's about making love and unbridled passion. The world doesn't make love enough.”

Smart-mouthed Bedford comedian Sarah Silverman proves year after year that the sexiest part of your body is your mind. Silverman spiced up the recent presidential campaign by posting a YouTube clip in which she offered to perform a sex act on Republican moneybags Sheldon Adelson if he could give a substantial donation to Barack Obama rather than Mitt Romney. “Sheldon … I have a proposal for you, and I’m serious,” she said. “If you give that $100 million to Obama instead of Romney I will — well, I won’t have sex with you because we’re not married and I’m a nice girl — but I will scissor you, wearing a bikini bottom, through to fruition…”


General David Petraeus, the nationallsecurity stud who stepped down as CIA director because he shared too many intimate details with his biographer, has been known to spend quiet time at a small house his family owns on Lake Kolelemook in Springfield.

Olympic gold medalist and two-time World Cup ski champ Bode Miller, the pride of Franconia, has slalomed his way into the hearts of many.

Derry’s own Charlie Moore, the “Mad Fisherman”’ of NESN and “Codfather” of sports broadcasters, has grabbed the attention of viewers angling for more than a lake trout.

Cy Young award-winning St. Louis Cardinals hurler Chris Carpenter of Manchester has a pitch many find hard to ignore.

22-year-old John "JJ" Romano of Bow was chosen to represent New Hampshire for Cosmopolitan magazine's 2012 bachelor of the year.


The Nielsens aren’t the only ones who give a high rating to WMUR anchor Erin Fehlau.

When Mandy Moore sang “I want to be with you,” many agreed with the Nashua native who recorded a platinum album of bubblegum pop.

US Senator Kelly Ayotte has grabbed the attention of a national media that is not easily distracted by just another pretty face.

Lovely Hampton model Persephanie Lesperance was a finalist in Maxim Magazine's Hometown Hottie contest.

Chef Nicole Barreira puts the pepper in the salsa at T-Bones and Cactus Jack’s restaurant — all while wearing a hot pink chef’s jacket. Click here to check out her provocative video on “How to Use Zucchini.”

Categories: Humor